The new issue of The Onion is terrific.
Go read the Sold Out to China issue now, especially this opinion piece from Jimmy MacDonalds, “American Children Like Me Are Lazy And Insolent And Must Try Harder:”
“Sleep, eating, and Mickey Mouse. That’s what I like best. Most days, when I am not gorging myself on cheese hamburgers or wasting my time collecting baseballs, I tend to speak to adults as if they were my schoolmates or mere common insects, instead of figures to be feared and respected. Did you know the amount of effort I put forth in my daily life is not even one-tenth that of children my age in other countries?
“Oh, well! I suppose if I do not try harder, my parents will be forced to punish me harshly, as they should have been doing all along. My shame is their shame, and the shame of a slovenly child is shared by us all.
“I also play video games always.”
Really, read it now so “It fish time!” can be an inside joke that we share. Wouldn’t you like to share that with me?
